Faded Jeans Living

Curious
It’s 1:42 AM as I draft this entry. I couldn’t sleep and started to think about everyone who went or is going down the path of paying off debt.  Out of all those folks what else was going on in their life when the decided that process.  Was it just a desire to focus on paying off debt finally or in combination of a whole new self-improvement journey?   Were they forced to finally face the debt?  Or maybe some other life event came along and paying off debt was a response to that?  Maybe they just decided to simplify their life?  It seems like we focus so much on the amount of debt we owe along with the process of how to pay it off, and we don’t stop and try to figure out how we got to that point.

Behind my $DEBT
I am divorced and have two kids who are teenagers.  I have my son every other week and my daughter off and on.  Right now I have both kids at my house and for me that is a huge joy.  When my daughter comes she brings her two dog’s Boris and Daisy.  My little 1,000 sq. ft. house is full and I love it that way.   It’s time like this that make me really appreciated my life and the time I can spend with them.  I noticed though when I found out I would be having both of them stay I went out and kind of went overboard at the grocery store.  Okay I went way overboard and above my budget.  It was like I was making purchases for us to have enjoyment or something along those lines.  It reminded me of how I use to justify moving into new houses or taking on big expensive remodel jobs.  Even though I now have a budget and future allocations that I need to fund – old habits kicked in.

Obviously after my divorce my finances were impacted, but it was more of facing up to who I had become and where I wanted to go now.  I’m sure you’ve all read that shit happens for a reason and some of us need to get hit over the head – that was me.  What I’m realizing was I was living in a stagnant pond trying not to change or move…just play it safe.  I believe I had gotten to that point because I had very little self-love that goes way back to growing up.  It was almost like I was buying love/happiness into my life with the remodels, rentals, and continually moving into another house.  I bring this up so you too can think about what is truly hiding behind the debt in your life or for that matter anything else you want change.  For me I believe we can make progress short term with “budgets, tools,  plans…”  but if you don’t change the way you think and feel from within then the progress doesn’t last long.  Remember it’s okay to stumble.  You are learning as you grow and it get’s easier as you open!!!

What life events surround your debt journey?   What is one belief in yourself that may have caused debt as a byproduct?  Beyond all the top 10 lists on how to pay off debt what is one thing you are working on from within that may improve the symptom?

Being Grateful
I’m grateful I have been given this change to allow my soul to guide me on my journey to unfold.