Faded Jeans Living

* It’s an act of faith to post early in the morning as you clearly hear your heart song

Quitting alcohol is huge!

For many it’s the required first step.

Like I’ve said several times before it allows you to finally give yourself a chance.

Instead of retreating and hiding in the fog, you will now sit and face your dragons.

Over and over again.

For me, I’m learning it takes teaching the mind to place nice.

Friday going into Saturday I discovered I had been listening and living solely through my mind lately.

The call came in for healing. I knew because I was mentally exhausted and the tears came flowing for over 4 hours on and off.

It was definitely influenced by reading Sarah Blondin’s book Heart minded: How to hold yourself and others in love.

I let the tears flow knowing I needed the cleansing. I needed to turn toward myself and look inward.

I took naps and read more. Still reading it … I wasn’t going to mention this at all, but maybe hearing my vulnerabilities can help someone face theirs.

Depression and anxiety is scary as FUCK! You hate acknowledging it because you think even giving it in inch it will swallow and drag you down into its depths.

I’m starting to discover though I need to start noticing the mean things my mind is saying about me and stop running away.

I don’t have to argue with it anymore. I can just say follow me.

We will leave the mind and sink like a stone down into my soft heart.

No words need to be said once we arrive. It will know it’s met it’s match.

It sees my true identity and then I show it the door to leave my body. This allows more light to shine within.

I feel deeply. I always have. I crave deep loving conversations going into many topics other people just don’t want to discuss. I crave deep hugs that kiss my soul. For much of my life I’ve tried to hide this fact. Man up is what society preached, so I started shutting down my heart and allowing my mind to take over my guidance system. So hard to put in words. I must acknowledge though it is my heart I’ve been hiding from so very often.

Escorting the negativity out is the only way forward and reconnecting my mind to my heart is the way.

Just writing that I hear rumblings of weakness, broken, not man enough… it’s a darn shame. What we need now more than ever is more love, but everyone is too fucking scared to show it.

This will definitely be a work in progress. But as always good needed work.

Work way way way beyond the bottle.

This is why so many of us sober fricks are so damn passionate about never going back.

Quitting alcohol was our first step on finding ourselves again.

Each step is Gold.

Thank you all for listening to me ramble, your love, and your support ❤️

Dwight