Faded Jeans Living

FOR ME …

For me I’m finding there can definitely be too much self-awareness, self-analysis, self-review, self-love, self-forgiveness, self self self….enough already! I can see now all the therapist, counselors, gurus, and preachers yelling “WHAT”! It’s definitely been my go to path these last few years working on improving myself and growing, but over the weekend I just noticed my god it’s way over the top! It’s so ingrained now it’s become rumination. It had gotten to the point every frickin thing I said and did was put under the microscope multiple times a day…by me.

The looking inward served me well up to a point. Like they say too much of one thing is not good. A healthy dose of balance is needed. Looking back it was like I’ve been in therapy for the last few years just rehashing the same old stuff and not exactly improving. I personally am not a fan or interested in being in therapy for years and here I was actually doing it. I had to ask myself is this process I’m following still serving me.

I knew it was time to give it a healthy rest, put it on the shelf, and just let myself take what I’ve learned and go live for a bit. Just coming to this realization has taken a great weight off of me. I’m feeling lighter, freer, and a huge sense of relief. I don’t have to have it ALL figured out. I don’t have to know 100% what my passion or goals are today. I don’t have to hit replay over and over analyzing it this way and that way. As the old reflex twinges inward, I’ve been stopping it in its tracks and saying nope and moving my focus outward and beyond.

I guess I’m practicing all this self-stuff by shutting it down. Now that’s a trip!

Dwight 🦋