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Here we go.
Stop and touch the bark of the trees. Stand and be silent. Tell the trees how grateful you are for all that they give. Close you eyes and feel the energy from your hand on the tree down to Mother Earth and across the forest.
Pat and smile at the trees as they smile and giggle along with you.
Sit with Mother Earth and Give Thanks
With tears of joy I say Thank You Great Spirit
Thank you Earth Mother
Thank you Guides and Angels
Thank you Power Animals
Love Love Love
Thank you thank you thank you
I Am Grateful Grateful Grateful
Therapy is over for today
I’m learning as I grow that it’s okay to adjust along the way. Prior to this I’d commit to something and that was that. I’d follow it through no matter what. No matter if it still didn’t resonate with my soul. I just won’t do that anymore. This blog is a great example. It started off being a debt blog and I was all fired up, but as time progressed I found myself wanting to blog about more than just debt. I had ideas and thoughts that just didn’t always fit into that category. I also found myself following many other debt bloggers on Twitter and to be quite honest the whole “debt thing” started to exhaust me. It was like that was all there was in my life and that is so not true. I made a decision to adjust and realign with what is currently working in my life. This blog won’t focus predominately on debt, but rather on all areas of my life that I want to share or that help me to grow. I got rid of my @jeanliving Twitter account and just post all my entries now to @DwightHyde twitter account. I also removed some of my more personal debt entries from this blog, because that wasn’t working for me anymore. By expanding beyond just debt I feel fortunate to be able to connect to many other souls who love to discuss their journeys in life.
Another area of my life that I’ve made a small adjustment is my spiritual practice in regards to church. Just like with debt I jumped right into becoming a member of a local church. I attended “religiously” and signed up for many classes. As time went on I found on certain Sundays I just didn’t feel like going but would still push myself to go due to my old commitment conditioning. Lately though I just go when it feels right in my soul. Sometimes I can connect better to Source by going out on a walk on Sunday morning then attending church. Neither is more right or more wrong – it just is.
For me it’s okay to adjust as long as I’m learning and growing along the way. I can admit it’s not always easy, but when I’m true with myself life seems to flow easier!
Facing the Shadows
I’ve been doing a lot of soul type work. Lately though I’ve noticed something was missing which meant time to focus and remain open. In one of my journal exercises I had a vision of myself hanging off a cliff with a river running underneath me. I thought about this and thought of it as a sign to just let go and jump into the water. The next night I watched Tony Robbins: I’m not your guru on Netflix. In one of the pieces Tony talks to this man about how he had been raised by sheep, living like a sheep, and he’s actually a lion that can roar. You’ll have to watch it. This resonated with my soul. Anyway after that I found a book on Amazon called No more Mr. Nice Guy which is about trying to please others while neglecting yourself which cause unhappiness. Again I knew I was being led down a path and I went with it. I thought back to my dream about hanging from a cliff over the river. I realized I wasn’t supposed to jump into the river. I was to use all my strength and tears and climb that fucking cliff to the top, conquer it, and make a new journey. I googled Men’s Retreat Warrior and the New Warriors Training Adventure by the Mankind Project came up. Its purpose is to support men in leading meaningful lives of integrity, accountability, responsibility, and emotion intelligence. They had a class in 2 weeks and no shit it was in my town. I didn’t think – I just registered. I knew nothing about the Mankind Project other then it’s website.
I went last weekend and it was amazing!! I’m still digesting it all. I got in touch with some of my shadows, sleighed some dragons, and learned how to get all primal with my new brothers and dance a new dance where we can speak openly without fear. For any man who wants to become a better man or feels like something is missing in his life you need to GO! They also have iGroups where you can meet with other men in a men’s circle in a location near you. That’s my next step. I battled my demon and was able to ultimately get it all out and even forgive it. I’ve tried everything like counseling, yoga, mediation, and church and nothing ever came close to helping me unfold further like this did.
It’s a group of men who want to became GREAT men. True men. I don’t know where this will all lead, but I’m sure as hell excited about it. Like I said this is the drive or connection I’ve been missing.
I’m grateful connecting to the Great Spirit and following leads even when I’m scared as hell.
My fellow warriors from The Mankind Project – New Warrior Training Adventure October 7-9, 2016 JCC Ranch Camp – Elbert, Colorado. “Changing the world one man at a time.”
What an awesome experience and a great group of men!
Love is the oneness behind all.
We forget this on our journey because we have been domesticated by such things as politics, religions, governments, and consumerism. Your political party is wrong – mine is right. My religion is the only way. I must save you. It’s disrespectful if you do this. This is my country and you’re not allowed here. You can only be happy if you buy or have this. I must compete with you to survive. The judgments we hold move us farther and farther away from love. The domestication creates a heavy armor to carry, protect, and uphold. There is an easier way. Stop the judging. Stop working so hard to have everyone think as you do. Instead of judging try understanding. Think about the armor you are carrying. Think about the messages you are projecting.
Come back and sit with LOVE. It’s our birthright!
It’s 1:42 AM as I draft this entry. I couldn’t sleep and started to think about everyone who went or is going down the path of paying off debt. Out of all those folks what else was going on in their life when the decided that process. Was it just a desire to focus on paying off debt finally or in combination of a whole new self-improvement journey? Were they forced to finally face the debt? Or maybe some other life event came along and paying off debt was a response to that? Maybe they just decided to simplify their life? It seems like we focus so much on the amount of debt we owe along with the process of how to pay it off, and we don’t stop and try to figure out how we got to that point.
Behind my $DEBT
I am divorced and have two kids who are teenagers. I have my son every other week and my daughter off and on. Right now I have both kids at my house and for me that is a huge joy. When my daughter comes she brings her two dog’s Boris and Daisy. My little 1,000 sq. ft. house is full and I love it that way. It’s time like this that make me really appreciated my life and the time I can spend with them. I noticed though when I found out I would be having both of them stay I went out and kind of went overboard at the grocery store. Okay I went way overboard and above my budget. It was like I was making purchases for us to have enjoyment or something along those lines. It reminded me of how I use to justify moving into new houses or taking on big expensive remodel jobs. Even though I now have a budget and future allocations that I need to fund – old habits kicked in.
Obviously after my divorce my finances were impacted, but it was more of facing up to who I had become and where I wanted to go now. I’m sure you’ve all read that shit happens for a reason and some of us need to get hit over the head – that was me. What I’m realizing was I was living in a stagnant pond trying not to change or move…just play it safe. I believe I had gotten to that point because I had very little self-love that goes way back to growing up. It was almost like I was buying love/happiness into my life with the remodels, rentals, and continually moving into another house. I bring this up so you too can think about what is truly hiding behind the debt in your life or for that matter anything else you want change. For me I believe we can make progress short term with “budgets, tools, plans…” but if you don’t change the way you think and feel from within then the progress doesn’t last long. Remember it’s okay to stumble. You are learning as you grow and it get’s easier as you open!!!
What life events surround your debt journey? What is one belief in yourself that may have caused debt as a byproduct? Beyond all the top 10 lists on how to pay off debt what is one thing you are working on from within that may improve the symptom?
I’m grateful I have been given this change to allow my soul to guide me on my journey to unfold.