Peace & Love

Happy Friday, Super Heroes!

Just wanted to send out some peace and love to all. Life can knock us down and toss us around at times, but we always have the choice to get back up and take a step forward. One thing I’ve picked up on this year is to stop ruminating on the why’s of life. For many years that was a major part of my life and nightly practices. Occasionally it might provide some answers or possible insights, but usually I’d find myself going down rabbit holes and sinking more into sadness and depression.

Lately, I’m using more of a what approach to life. What happened? What actions occurred? What did I do? What did life do? How did I interpret it? What can I learn from it? What can I do at this very moment to take a small step FORWARD?

We’ve got an amazing super power within called love! It never fails! Look and reach within and you will find this amazing light and peace❤️

Big hugs,

Dwight

How are you being manipulated?

The dilemma

“Never before have a handful of tech designers had such control over the way billions of us think, act, and live our lives.”

– from https://www.thesocialdilemma.com

If you’re like me and finding yourself more and more glued to your devices and also worried we as a society are more divided then ever, you might be interested in this documentary on Netflix. Even if you think this isn’t an issue for you, I guarantee you’ll find this intriguing.

– from Netflix, the social dilemma

Learn more…https://www.thesocialdilemma.com

Still giggling

Step out the door of the school bus

Tell Andy goodbye

Run inside change into my play clothes

The jeans with patches on the knees

Run out to the woods to play with my friends


Shut the computer off

Change into my biking shorts

Load the bike into the truck

Off to Lovell Gulch to go ride


At 54, I still get that excited

Got to get out there

Riding on the trail I smell the wet leaves

The sun shine through the trees

And I giggle like hell!

Send peace and joy,

Dwight

Get OUTSIDE! Enjoy the Fall.

I awoke this morning, to my surprise, with a declaration from the Ministry of Fall Funness:

“To all Super Heroes of said FadedJeansLiving we hereby declare you have been summoned to get your buttocks outdoors and enjoy the Fall! Hiking, neighborhood walks, and porch hot cider sitting is highly encouraged!”

“PS: If you’re reading this then you’re a Super Hero. This means YOU😊”

What was I to do? Well…I immediately told my boss I was taking a half day! Here are some photos of my fall outing with Dude. Hope you enjoy. We did.

Dude is picking out what trail to take at Catamount.
I lost him for about 15 minutes. Big scare, but he came back😊
Dudester is summing up how we both felt when done.

I’d love to see a post from you all on your Fall outing!

Mucho Metta,

Dwight…and Dude!

The “F” Word

I can’t believe it but I’m starting to think about one of my “F” words: GOALS!

You see like forever, if I even heard someone mention that nasty word, I’d be like shut the hell up, of course in my head, as I just smiled. I’d be like dude I can’t even keep my shit together right now. Have you seen my shit? Come closer so I can just punch you right now in the face. (Remember Ground Hog Day and Bill Murray punching the insurance salesman?) Yep there is definitely a Mr. Hyde inside. My thought process was I’m barely holding on here day to day and you want me to think about 1 and 5 years from now? Again, shut the hell up, what the “F” ?

This all came about the other night lying in bed, pillow over my head to protect me from all my nemesis, and as I peaked out upon my world I started to think back to five years ago. Where was I? Where am I now? You see it was just over 5 years ago that I became a very broken man. Oh I was definitely broken before that but my soul was so frustrated of providing hints and paths for me to follow, and I’d just ignore them and stay on my stagnant lily pad. So my soul decided to do what it had to do and applied defcon emergency procedures on my ass!

I was struck with a divorce, debt, depression, and enough other shrapnel that come along with all that to blow me off the lily pad and face a world I’d been denying for years. I thought we were talking about goals? I’m getting there…

At that point there was no more hiding a not so perfect life. The spotlight shined brightly on me as I was forcefully dragged center stage. The curtain wasn’t going to shut and my soul held all the cards. I was to start anew like it or lump it. I lumped it!

As I lumped it not much happened. Like a new seed planted. I went through all those f’n phases blah blah blah…more “F” words. Slowly though with tons of work a root system was started. I looked uP and worked on “me”. It took many years of crying and trying. Many new thoughts and framing to get over my lost love. Along with that it took 4 years to pay off $35,500 in debt. I made many wrong turns, dead ends, but each time I was gathering new information and learning. For all my hard work, my soul granted me a gift on February 16, 2019. I became sober. Vowing to never live life again in the fog. To face each day with whatever life throws at me and focus on my base and have faith. My roots we’re getting deeper and deeper. To many on the outside it may appear as I haven’t done anything with my life in the last 5 years, but for me, and that’s all that counts I’ve grown so much from my lily pad days.

Okay here’s the goals part. It takes a bamboo tree 5 years to even sprout above the ground. What’s it doing up to that point? It’s taking in all the moisture and nutrients and growing a deep root system. Once that’s complete get the hell out of the way. Within 5 weeks of sprouting it can shoot up 90 ft tall!!!

So that’s my thoughts from beneath my pillow. My base is there. It’s good. I looked at the past and have seen the great progress this “tree” has made. I’m now at a point where I feel I can actually start doing the “G” word.

Goals😊. What phase are you at?

Super heroes unite,

Dwight

Wilderness

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day, …I was supposed to get some work done this weekend, but no, it never happened. Today I putted around. Mostly outside and coming back to my porch chair sitting and enjoying my beautiful fall. My time of year. My comfortably numb.

I strangely don’t feel like others. How do I know how others feel? It’s all in the all of course. Thrusted and ingrained upon us. A bit of an oddball I guess. Sometimes that frightens me, other times I raise that flag proudly. I don’t think we’re doing this living thing right. Day after day latching onto things to bring us happiness while all it does is make us worry more about keeping all our things. Acting like others to be like others. Doing this, doing that, rat a tat tat. Images, devices, a communication freak show pushed down our throat. Are you feeling okay? Something wrong? Oh, we can fix that.

Working worky work. For what? To survive you say. Hmm..I’m survived. There feels like there’s more behind this tapestry. The wizard is now our phones.

My push to get sober was to wake up. Living wasn’t meant to consume mass quantities just to make it through a day, event, a moment. I truly believed I had to get back to my natural state. Surely it would of been a cruel ride to have to escape daily what we were birthed into.

Natural. Getting back. Removing THINGS. This seems to resonate.

I’m not into much. Oh you must be depressed. You need to be around people more. Or you need to do this or do that. Do. Do. Do. Why is it you’re not into much?

Is it that the much is so much less then what’s right here?

Hold it together, man. Keep playing the game or you’ll go .. go , no mustn’t say it.

How did insane and depression even come to be words that slowly float into my head. Said it. Yes that’s it, I’m all up in my shit, up in my head. This all sounds like a Pink Floyd trip. Time to go …time to go. I’ve always been mad.

Like with sobriety I feel there is another veil that needs to be lifted. We aren’t taught these things because we’ve never stopped, questioned, nor tried. We instead must continue to biggering and continuing and just a bunch of bullshitting. And why is it I’m the odd one? It’s literally a crime to start seeing the glimmers so late in life after the chaotic first ride. But that ride is prescribed over and over and over.

I’m not of what I’m currently doing. I’m doing, but I’m not. There feels like there is more.

Maybe it was the tree I posted. Maybe the veil lifted briefly. Maybe it was me starting to read Wilderness – Gateway to the Soul. It’s 12:45 AM. I think I’ll go back to my porch chair and gaze at the stars.

Peace,

Dwight

Keep going

I was in ah as I saw this tree that somehow against all odds it grew out of these boulders. I’ve heard repeatedly how we can learn so much from nature and as I get older I truly believe it.

Just sit and look at the tree. Think about all that needed to happen to make it reach it’s potential. Each day instead of giving up and thinking what’s the use or I’m hopeless, it chose to just focus on growing. Reaching in both directions. Deep down within expanding its roots. Also, up and out externally stretching it’s limbs. Each direction learning what’s working and what’s not working. Getting wiser each time. Maybe in the beginning the other trees didn’t notice. Maybe they said you’re crazy. You’ll never make it. There was something about this tree that wouldn’t give up. Within was a knowing it had to give it 100% plus and keep that faith.

I may not know what your circumstances are or what within you that you are striving for, but I can say remember this tree when you have a bad day, miss the mark, and feel like quitting. Shake it off, keep looking up, and keep growing. Eventually that hard work will pay off.

This philosophy has helped me through debt, depression, heartbreak, and getting sober.

✌️ Dwight

2020 Pikes Peak Challenge

Today I was able to participate in the Pikes Peak Challenge. It’s a fundraiser that provides help and services for survivors of an injury to the brain, their families, and providers here in Colorado via the Brain Injury Awareness Alliance of Colorado. It’s such a wonderful cause and it’s always an honor to participate. The volunteers and support services are just amazing! It’s usually a hike up Pikes Peak, but due to Covid they had to switch it up. This year we hiked halfway to Barr Camp and then back down. A total of 12 miles. The weather was perfect with big beautiful blue skies and 70 degrees. Just earlier in the week it was 25 degrees and snow!

I hadn’t done this fundraiser in years, and you know me how excited I get for a hiking adventure. It was wonderful being outdoors with loving souls. I was in heaven charging up Barr trail at 5 AM. So for a 12 mile hike, here’s 12 photos along the way. I hope you enjoy.

Looking back at Colorado Springs
Pikes Peak..sunrise
Loved this..smelled like fall😊

At the finish line, an old timer walked over to me and put a medallion around my neck, shook my hand(no elbow bump), and said thank you for participating. I’m a brain injury survivor and benefit from this organization and folks like you. Choked me all up.

This was a beautiful day for me. Don’t give up on humanity folks! Together we generate so much goodness, love, and hope✌️❤️

Dwight