I Don’t Know

Down in the valley looking up…

In the fog…

Just get through this…Just get through this…

Feeling just f’n blah blah blah…

Call it what you will, but I know many of you have been there.  For me, it happens with some “event” and then I start checking out.  I stop doing all the things that help keep me glued together.  I put my head down, ignore all the signs, and start cycling downwards.  The thought process is if I can just get past this I’ll then get back to my routine.

I guess that’s where I’m at right now and as I write this it clicks that I’m starting to head out of this valley I traveled down to.  Many events have happened lately.  My son graduated High School and will be leaving in 2 days in a camper van we built to head to Alaska for work and adventure.  A good friend, my ex-mother inlaw passed away.  Lastly, I’ve finally seen the light that my ex-wife has NO desire at all to attempt to try to be friends.  I get it.  There have been many relationships in my past where I’ve felt the same way, but I always thought that after 16 years together with 2 kids that it would be different.  She was also my best friend.  Just tough to swallow, but I’m clear now on where she stands.

I’m not looking for any advice or sorrow.  Just rambling at age 52 in no man’s land.  While I’m here I question a lot of things.  What’s working and what’s not working?  Even faith comes up in God, angels, and guides.  The only thing I truly know is Love as lame as that may sound.  It’s something I actually experience and know.

I don’t know and I guess that’s okay.

Valleys and Summits.  I guess that’s how we grow.  Thanks for listening : )


7 responses to “I Don’t Know”

  1. This is the lovely thing about WordPress … it’s a great place to voice your thoughts and nobody judges and there’s usually someone who has been through what you’re going through. I get it. I get the whole ex thing and wanting to be friends, and yup, it makes me so sad too. I know you said you don’t want sorrow, so I’ll just say … I’m with you. Katie x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s nice to have company on this crazy ass ride! Thank you Katie!!! Sending LOVE.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Change can really throw us off our game. Particularly when it comes to our kids, or people we’ve trusted. Hold on there, Friend. Summits and Valleys do even out.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Beautifully said…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Part of the “human condition,” Dwight. We all have to go through it.
    Best wishes,

    Liked by 1 person

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