General

Debt and peace

/ Dwight Hyde / 11 Comments

Can you have debt and peace?

Believe it or not this blog started off as a debt blog. I was divorced with a debt of $35,500. I had come across other debt bloggers and found much knowledge and support from their posts, so I took the plunge and started blogging here. The interesting thing though about all this is if you go way back to my early posts you won’t find many on debt. You see this blog started with me being anonymous. I was probably 5 to 10 posts in blogging about debt, and then like many I discovered my heart and soul was gaining courage and they had a few things to say too. On one eventful night, I took the plunge, removed my mask, changed the blog to FadedJeansLiving.com a “Life Blog”, and in the process DELETED most of the blog entries on my personal debt!

Why you may ask? I was embarrassed by it. The blog now had my real name and even a picture of me. My goodness what would happen if people found out who knew me? You’re probably chuckling after all the “real personal shit” I have since posted. You need to understand though this was over 4 years ago and I was very green about the benefits of being vulnerable and sharing. I wish I had never deleted them now, obviously. It would of been neat to see where I was during those raw moment of my life. Live and learn as they say.

One question I wish I had asked with each new debt was will this bring me peace? Unfortunately, I realize back then I know what the answer would of been. It would of been either well sure it does, OR frick off I don’t have time to think about peace I’ve got living to do! Big sigh. My debt started with college, for that was what you were to do, so I did my part and played along. Then the good job came and a BIG house was needed as dictated in the next part of the song. Buy the biggest you can afford they sang with a 30 year mortgage, you’ll grow into it..trust us. And growing I did. New cars were needed to fill the 2 car garage and with the 3,300 sq ft furniture was needed. Why wait like your parents did and purchase mostly with cash. No problem you now have good credit. Credit is your friend?

So as as the years passed by I kept biggering and so did the debt. I was living the good life so THEY say. Yes, there was some discomforts felt that within this didn’t feel completely right or even good at times, so a bit of action was put in place. Dave Ramsey’s book Financial Peace entered my life, budgets were drawn up, and beans and rice were bought for dinner. Total debt removal was the plan. The problem with plans and actions is you must act. Pull the trigger, live it. Well this other guy also came into the scene named Robert Kiyosaki with his book Rich Dad,Poor Dad. I didn’t want be poor dad, so I said goodbye to old Dave.

I never thought I would ever be a landlord, but at one time I had three houses I “owned” and was renting out. There were home equity loans here and there with credit cards maxed out due to remodeling them and getting them up to snuff. Also I was selling and moving into homes for me and my family along the way. Fixing them up, getting bored, and moving again. Each time going more in debt, but not to worry because I now had investments.

Well, as many of you know, this story didn’t end well. I was divorced in 2015, $35,500 in debt as this story began, had to let go of the big house. I moved into one of our rentals. The ex moved into the other rental. And to top it off they are located one house apart from each other. KARMA. Ha.

Well that’s a good intro to my debt. Have I learned anything from it and do I have any advice? Yes and will share in future posts. In closing, I’m back following Dave. It just works better for me. And just like getting out of the fog from alcohol for me, getting out of debt has brought me peace.  Ironically I got sober and paid of that debt both in the same year – 2019.

It will bring you peace, too. You can remove debt from your life.

More to come,

Dwight

You (2)

/ Dwight Hyde / 14 Comments

You have the answers

Though you think they are out somewhere

You wait

Waiting for stars to align

Angels to sing

Light to cast down

It’s coming

Or maybe it’s in that next book

With a bonus guide for only $199.99

Looking out

Searching

Hoping

While tiring inside

You sink back and sigh

Why

Why does this have to be so hard

Hard

Compared to soft

Compared to flow

From within, to out, and back to you

A freedom crying out

Enough of this hell

This doesn’t have to be so complicated

A start over

But this time it’s part 2 and you make the rules

No longer the past dragging you down

Nor the future whispering fears

Toss them overboard

For NOW is the only reality

The blindfold is removed and love surrounds you

You realize you are the way

You were intended here

As a needed seed built to grow and shine

New maps can be made

It’s time to set sail!

YOU can always change,

Dwight

Peace & Love

/ Dwight Hyde / 20 Comments

Happy Friday, Super Heroes!

Just wanted to send out some peace and love to all. Life can knock us down and toss us around at times, but we always have the choice to get back up and take a step forward. One thing I’ve picked up on this year is to stop ruminating on the why’s of life. For many years that was a major part of my life and nightly practices. Occasionally it might provide some answers or possible insights, but usually I’d find myself going down rabbit holes and sinking more into sadness and depression.

Lately, I’m using more of a what approach to life. What happened? What actions occurred? What did I do? What did life do? How did I interpret it? What can I learn from it? What can I do at this very moment to take a small step FORWARD?

We’ve got an amazing super power within called love! It never fails! Look and reach within and you will find this amazing light and peace❤️

Big hugs,

Dwight

How are you being manipulated?

/ Dwight Hyde / 8 Comments

The dilemma

“Never before have a handful of tech designers had such control over the way billions of us think, act, and live our lives.”

– from https://www.thesocialdilemma.com

If you’re like me and finding yourself more and more glued to your devices and also worried we as a society are more divided then ever, you might be interested in this documentary on Netflix. Even if you think this isn’t an issue for you, I guarantee you’ll find this intriguing.

– from Netflix, the social dilemma

Learn more…https://www.thesocialdilemma.com

Still giggling

/ Dwight Hyde / 7 Comments

Step out the door of the school bus

Tell Andy goodbye

Run inside change into my play clothes

The jeans with patches on the knees

Run out to the woods to play with my friends

Shut the computer off

Change into my biking shorts

Load the bike into the truck

Off to Lovell Gulch to go ride

At 54, I still get that excited

Got to get out there

Riding on the trail I smell the wet leaves

The sun shine through the trees

And I giggle like hell!

Send peace and joy,

Dwight

Get OUTSIDE! Enjoy the Fall.

/ Dwight Hyde / 24 Comments

I awoke this morning, to my surprise, with a declaration from the Ministry of Fall Funness:

“To all Super Heroes of said FadedJeansLiving we hereby declare you have been summoned to get your buttocks outdoors and enjoy the Fall! Hiking, neighborhood walks, and porch hot cider sitting is highly encouraged!”

“PS: If you’re reading this then you’re a Super Hero. This means YOU😊”

What was I to do? Well…I immediately told my boss I was taking a half day! Here are some photos of my fall outing with Dude. Hope you enjoy. We did.

Dude is picking out what trail to take at Catamount.
I lost him for about 15 minutes. Big scare, but he came back😊
Dudester is summing up how we both felt when done.

I’d love to see a post from you all on your Fall outing!

Mucho Metta,

Dwight…and Dude!

The “F” Word

/ Dwight Hyde / 27 Comments

I can’t believe it but I’m starting to think about one of my “F” words: GOALS!

You see like forever, if I even heard someone mention that nasty word, I’d be like shut the hell up, of course in my head, as I just smiled. I’d be like dude I can’t even keep my shit together right now. Have you seen my shit? Come closer so I can just punch you right now in the face. (Remember Ground Hog Day and Bill Murray punching the insurance salesman?) Yep there is definitely a Mr. Hyde inside. My thought process was I’m barely holding on here day to day and you want me to think about 1 and 5 years from now? Again, shut the hell up, what the “F” ?

This all came about the other night lying in bed, pillow over my head to protect me from all my nemesis, and as I peaked out upon my world I started to think back to five years ago. Where was I? Where am I now? You see it was just over 5 years ago that I became a very broken man. Oh I was definitely broken before that but my soul was so frustrated of providing hints and paths for me to follow, and I’d just ignore them and stay on my stagnant lily pad. So my soul decided to do what it had to do and applied defcon emergency procedures on my ass!

I was struck with a divorce, debt, depression, and enough other shrapnel that come along with all that to blow me off the lily pad and face a world I’d been denying for years. I thought we were talking about goals? I’m getting there…

At that point there was no more hiding a not so perfect life. The spotlight shined brightly on me as I was forcefully dragged center stage. The curtain wasn’t going to shut and my soul held all the cards. I was to start anew like it or lump it. I lumped it!

As I lumped it not much happened. Like a new seed planted. I went through all those f’n phases blah blah blah…more “F” words. Slowly though with tons of work a root system was started. I looked uP and worked on “me”. It took many years of crying and trying. Many new thoughts and framing to get over my lost love. Along with that it took 4 years to pay off $35,500 in debt. I made many wrong turns, dead ends, but each time I was gathering new information and learning. For all my hard work, my soul granted me a gift on February 16, 2019. I became sober. Vowing to never live life again in the fog. To face each day with whatever life throws at me and focus on my base and have faith. My roots we’re getting deeper and deeper. To many on the outside it may appear as I haven’t done anything with my life in the last 5 years, but for me, and that’s all that counts I’ve grown so much from my lily pad days.

Okay here’s the goals part. It takes a bamboo tree 5 years to even sprout above the ground. What’s it doing up to that point? It’s taking in all the moisture and nutrients and growing a deep root system. Once that’s complete get the hell out of the way. Within 5 weeks of sprouting it can shoot up 90 ft tall!!!

So that’s my thoughts from beneath my pillow. My base is there. It’s good. I looked at the past and have seen the great progress this “tree” has made. I’m now at a point where I feel I can actually start doing the “G” word.

Goals😊. What phase are you at?

Super heroes unite,

Dwight

Wilderness

/ Dwight Hyde / 23 Comments

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day, …I was supposed to get some work done this weekend, but no, it never happened. Today I putted around. Mostly outside and coming back to my porch chair sitting and enjoying my beautiful fall. My time of year. My comfortably numb.

I strangely don’t feel like others. How do I know how others feel? It’s all in the all of course. Thrusted and ingrained upon us. A bit of an oddball I guess. Sometimes that frightens me, other times I raise that flag proudly. I don’t think we’re doing this living thing right. Day after day latching onto things to bring us happiness while all it does is make us worry more about keeping all our things. Acting like others to be like others. Doing this, doing that, rat a tat tat. Images, devices, a communication freak show pushed down our throat. Are you feeling okay? Something wrong? Oh, we can fix that.

Working worky work. For what? To survive you say. Hmm..I’m survived. There feels like there’s more behind this tapestry. The wizard is now our phones.

My push to get sober was to wake up. Living wasn’t meant to consume mass quantities just to make it through a day, event, a moment. I truly believed I had to get back to my natural state. Surely it would of been a cruel ride to have to escape daily what we were birthed into.

Natural. Getting back. Removing THINGS. This seems to resonate.

I’m not into much. Oh you must be depressed. You need to be around people more. Or you need to do this or do that. Do. Do. Do. Why is it you’re not into much?

Is it that the much is so much less then what’s right here?

Hold it together, man. Keep playing the game or you’ll go .. go , no mustn’t say it.

How did insane and depression even come to be words that slowly float into my head. Said it. Yes that’s it, I’m all up in my shit, up in my head. This all sounds like a Pink Floyd trip. Time to go …time to go. I’ve always been mad.

Like with sobriety I feel there is another veil that needs to be lifted. We aren’t taught these things because we’ve never stopped, questioned, nor tried. We instead must continue to biggering and continuing and just a bunch of bullshitting. And why is it I’m the odd one? It’s literally a crime to start seeing the glimmers so late in life after the chaotic first ride. But that ride is prescribed over and over and over.

I’m not of what I’m currently doing. I’m doing, but I’m not. There feels like there is more.

Maybe it was the tree I posted. Maybe the veil lifted briefly. Maybe it was me starting to read Wilderness – Gateway to the Soul. It’s 12:45 AM. I think I’ll go back to my porch chair and gaze at the stars.

Peace,

Dwight