Getting a bit social

/ Dwight Hyde

Since my last post on loneliness, I decided to take a small action in breaking out of my “home comfort zone”. As it sounds, I spend a lot of time at home working and living without a lot of face time with other folks. Like many people, making the effort to get out there and meet new folks or socialize seems very exhausting. When I was younger it was a much different story, but then again I had a beer in my hand and not a care in the world. Slowly after being married and then divorced I somehow just stopped making the effort.

Well after posting Loneliness, I pulled out a 3 x 5 card and wrote my name, number, and email on it. The following Monday, I gave it to a guy I know at yoga and asked if he’d be interested in meeting up for breakfast and/or hikes and he said that sounds great. Well today we met for breakfast and I’m now in the breakfast club with him and another guy and I couldn’t be happier. He also said him and his wife would love to hike whenever I want.

I’ll tell you it was very uncomfortable handing him my info. At 53, I was like shit do I really want to do this? Is it worth it? What if he thinks I’m some kind of freak? I started thinking back to kindergarten in school and how I was always a bit scared to go up to new kids, but aftwards …it just worked out.

Small steps, but I’m starting to break out of my shell. How do you break out of your shell?

Dwight

28 thoughts on “Getting a bit social”

  2. Well done. You leaped without a safety net. I keep thinking about your loneliness post and still surprised by the statistics. I think I need to do my own leaping. I love being by myself but I know I should push myself to be more social as well.

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  5. Brave and vulnerable, Dwight! I love this. It gets much harder to make friends as we get older, but it is so very necessary for a well-lived life, these connections and friendships. I hope you don’t mind if I share your blog with my readers also.

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  6. Pingback: Saturday Share – Getting a bit social — Faded Jeans Living – mexi minnesotana

  8. After getting divorced in late middle age and moving to a different state, I knew that I, too, had to make the effort to meet people. I took the plunge and joined a writing group and a book club. These led to several other groups, as well. I’ve also begun tutoring someone who speaks English well enough but who wants to write the language more effectively. I spend time with family members, too, but they have their own lives. Am I still lonely? Yes, but not as sad, and it seems that the loneliness is turning more to alone-ness, and that mainly feels comfortable.

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  10. *high fives you!*
    I’m finding that it’s getting easier – the offer to help someone, or ask someone for help – the simple kindness, an enthusiastic “I love your hair”… It adds up. I’m proud of you, Buddy. That was a hard thing to do, and I’m glad you’re in with some good folks. Thank all that’s Holy, Life moves on past grade school!

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  11. Nice one Dwight. Glad your strategy with the card paid off, simple and very effective. I’m with you on how it becomes harder as you get older to make new connections. I do volunteering like a previous commenter suggested and I find that not only creates new connections but also gives new meaning to life. Jim

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  12. Small steps are still steps, Dwight. I love your site and your posts. I also just followed you on instagram. You are a lovely writer. I love your honesty and depth.

    When I was an active alcoholic, I was constantly going out and socializing and everyone called me a gregarious extravert. Now that I have been sober since 2012, I have evolved into the authentic human I feel I was called to be. And I’m not truly an extravert. I love being alone. I don’t loathe my thoughts anymore. I like reading, writing and watching movies when I am not caring for my 3 sons and my home or sponsoring women. I find the place I feel most comfortable when I’m feeling lonely is at AA meetings. I trust that I am loved in the groups I have fully submerged myself into. But, when I’m done with a meeting and the after meeting – meeting, I am ready to go home and enjoy the silence in my home or my back deck or on walks with my dog. It’s so amazing how I felt MORE lonely as an active, social, crazy, gregarious, out of control active alcoholic.

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