The dragon is back. ย Currently noise and triggers within my mind is winning. ย Any breeze can toss me about with ease. A comment, a tone, an image, feeling,…be whatever strikes with intense precision brining me to my knees. Think Harry Potter with death eaters or dueling wands. Except I donโt even raise my wand.
Itโs not a fun place to be. Shocked, offended, and surprised. Thereโs nowhere to run and hide, since everyone is pointing me out…or thatโs how it seems.
If I could just reach my soul, I know Iโll have a chance.
…Depression just sucks. I thought Iโd share my current spell with others just to let you know youโre not alone. I usually write about this after the fact when I kicked itโs ass, but thought being vulnerable and open may help me through and others. It feels so low and very cold where I can barely move in fear it strikes again and again.
Playing events out in my mind shine clues of how Iโve arrived here again. My defenses were nil – why – given my past ..no clue.
Writing it out helps connect some dots. No cries of poor Dwight please..that isnโt this intent.
The dragon is quiet. Itโs time to form a new plan.
A huge voice is screaming donโt publish this you fool. Youโre not anonymous! Another small faint ย voice says go ahead.
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