No harmony

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Howdy folks! I thought for this post I’d catch you up with how eHarmony is going. The goal is to keep it real with no shame in a social media world where everyone supposedly knocks it out of the park everyday and looks gorgeous while doing it.

Back in January I joined the Great Race of starting big goals with dream like expectations. I decided after 7 plus years of not dating I’d get with the times and checkout this online dating scene. I typed in my credit card number, submitted $500+, and bam I was rewarded with my very own profile and the ability to view other profiles that matched the algorithm. To say I was overwhelmed was the least of it. My heart pounded in fear, but I was focused to go on at least one date. I’ll cut to the chase. I ended up going on ZERO dates!

I didn’t have it in me. Simple as that. My motivation was high, but my determination I later discovered was in the negative region. I felt I SHOULD be doing something to bring a romantic love into my life. My god what must others be thinking and saying about me? Did I really want to live alone the rest of my life?

When I first started viewing profiles, I was open and read diligently basic profile info and about me paragraphs and answers to set questions given by eHarmany. I was hopeful! Quickly though I’d discovered key words that would trigger me to say, nope, and moved on to the next. Ultimately I stopped even clicking on some solely based on the physical attraction I had toward them. Picture nope, scroll, nope, maybe, click, trigger, nope, scroll, …Am I proud of this? Certainly not! Is it the truth? Yes. Did I hear rumbles from my soul? Yes.

This just wasn’t the way for me. It felt wrong, awkward, and unnatural. I’d send an interest out and nothing came back. Some others would send me an interest and I wasn’t interested. I finally admitted to myself I didn’t have what it takes energy and confidence wise to make this process work. So after only 4 months, I canceled my membership. I wanted out. There was no refund. Once again life provided me a valuable education.

So what’s my plan moving forward in finding that someone special to share my life with? No clue, but I’m okay with it. For now. This human experience is definitely a trip!



15 responses to “No harmony”

  1. Your post got me thinking about my past. My parents dispised each other, but stayed together for ‘appearances’ as was the norm in the 1960’s. This gave me a negative impression of married life, simply because my parents friends were pretty much the same as them. I stayed away from women for a very long time, partly because I couldn’t understand them.
    To be single is OK. Some people get together to complete themselves, but this doesn’t work -they need to be complete and at ease with themselves first.
    I did get married in the end and we have just celebrated 19 years of marriage. if you are serious about finding someone, look for someone with similar values to your own.
    In the end, it doesn’t matter weather you are single or part of a couple, do whatever works for you, and be true to yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Right on! Thanks so much.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. i tried a dating site a few years back for the first time..somewhere around 2017/2018..i knew quite a few people who had dated and met others that way so figured i’d give it a shot. It was pure hell. the worst part was getting bombarded daily with hundreds of flirts ( or whatever they called it) as well as messages and such from guys that were completely out of my stated age range ( 45-55 at the time). I was 52- 20 year olds and 70 year olds weren’t what i wanted. anyway, beyond that, the second worst thing was actually sifting through the available ones. Like you, i was saying nope to 99% based on certain undesirable attributes like unemployed, lives with parents, severely disabled, kids under 18 , etc.- i didn’t even care about looks except for extremely overweight or obviously unhygienic( greasy looking hair, unkempt appearance in general). Yeah , i kinda felt like a jerk but hey- i do have some standards. anyway, i deleted the account within 2 weeks. In hindsight, it was probably what jaded me the most about what is out there..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So glad I’m not alone on this whole online dating. It never felt right and in hindsight I should of quit after 2 weeks like you instead of putting myself through the negativity I brought to myself. Onward and Forward!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t think I could ever go through an online platform if I tried to meet someone. Maybe the kids who grow up with their phones attached to themselves are wired differently, but you were right to follow your gut feeling, Dwight.
    Take care,

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry it didn’t work out however, sounds like it just isn’t for you right now, and that’s ok! You have some exciting things moving forward that will land you in different areas and such, you just never know when you may meet someone. You are fully learning all about yourself and that inspires me to do the very same. Talk to ya soon my friend! 😃❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh boy. I couldn’t do it either.
    Good for you for taking that step, however.
    Someone will come into your life! Maybe when you are traveling around the country!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. There you go! I’ll meet a nomad gypsy and we can caravan together😊

      Liked by 3 people

  6. I get anxious just thinking about online dating!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Roxanne Roberts Avatar
    Roxanne Roberts

    I can’t even imagine being single and having to date in this world of “on line dating.” Why don’t you try making a list of everything you want in a partner, be very specific, age, hair color, personality, likes and dislikes, etc, etc. Then do a ceremony with your list, burn it, bury it, or in someway give it to the spirits to help bring that person into your life. Put it out there, then forget it! And when that person shows up in your life, don’t be afraid! That’s how I met Jim, and when he showed up, meeting everything on my list, it freaked me out!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Rox! I love this idea!!! Right on, thank you🦋


  8. After reading your previous post about joining eHarmony, I decided to join as well. It’s one of the few dating apps I hadn’t tried, so why not? It’s the weirdest one out there, by far. The first thing they do is charge an exorbitant membership fee and they locked me in for 6 months. It goes downhill from there. Lol I enjoyed their compatibility test, but didn’t date anyone either. I met one man who looked 20 years older than his profile picture, so I just sorta placed it in the typical dating app category. It didn’t offer much for the price. We’ll meet the right person probably when we least expect it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Barb! Sorry it didn’t work out for you either. I definitely agree with you and remain open and hopeful. 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You never know until you try, right Dwight?

        Liked by 1 person

  9. You don’t know if you don’t try! Sorry it didn’t work out but when you are ready you will find each other. 💞


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