Comparing ourselves to others

Grow your own way

As many of you know, I just got back from a trip out to see my family. It was 10 days living and being around folks 24 x 7. This is quite a feat for a recluse as my mom joked, but she is so correct! I have started getting more social in the last year, but I’m still an empath introvert who can usually only handle 2 to 3 hours of being social then I must leave the ball before my coach turns into a pumpkin. Being around family helped, but it did take up a lot of energy.

While I was there I found myself surprisingly comparing myself to others even though I KNOW this isn’t healthy. I thought I’d share to see if others can relate.

It seemed like everyone’s house sparkled with the latest flooring, kitchens, bathrooms, decorations…while mine was just ughhh. Everyone was driving shiny tight new cars while my 1992 Jeep Cherokee was just..frickin OLD. Huge gatherings were put together with ease to the hill with many family and friends coming together. Hell, I have a very hard time even inviting one person over to my house. Then there were old family group photos of all of us including my ex. I will admit that too stung a bit. For some reason I couldn’t stop myself comparing the contrast between my life and theirs. I even started having thoughts of maybe I should change up my life and move back East or at least as a minimum upgrade my life out here in Colorado.

Like I said, I know better then to go down that path but it happened and now that I think about it, it often happens after trips like this. After getting home and hibernating for a couple days this comparing magically lifted. Could be these beautiful clear blue skies and soaring mountains😊. There’s reasons why I’ve chosen to live the way I’m living my life.

Houses and their insides are no longer a thing for me. I’ve lived in homes over 3,000 sq ft and filled them up with so many of societies treasures that I put myself in crazy amounts of debt. It brought me only stress with no happiness. Today I live debt free in a 1000 sq ft home with stains on some of the carpet, linoleum bathroom floors, and a kitchen that meets my needs but no I don’t have granite counter tops and I don’t want them.

Yes my Jeep is old and bounces all over the road while driving. I do indeed question some times will this thing get me all the way to a particular destination, but that makes adventures a bit more interesting. It’s got character and I refuse to pay outrageous amounts of money for a vehicle I hardly drive.

My social circle is nothing like theirs, but it is growing at a pace that is right for me. Also my small family, two kids, are currently here and I wouldn’t want to be that far away from them.

Trying to wrap this up..this is a long post for old Dwighty! So I’m back home in more ways then one. The monkey mind did get a bit carried away. It happens.

My message is grow your own way and just be YOU🤗


31 thoughts on “Comparing ourselves to others

  1. Dwight- there’s increasing evidence that money/ kitchens/ cars etc do not provide the happiness we think they’ll bring (as long as you can cover the basics of course) and you’re proof of that. Long live the Jeep say I!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. More power to you, Dwight. Not everything that shines is gold, and what good does gold do us, anyhow? I think many (not all) people try to surround themselves with pretty and shiny things to compensate for a void somewhere else, or because we have been indoctrinated to believe that owning stuff equals a meaningful or successful life. I don’t think it does, and it actually distracts us from more meaningful pursuits. One our deathbed, we will not regret not having had a bigger house or a better car, but we will regret not having spent more time with loved ones or in beloved places.
    All the best,

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It is so natural to go down that road, especially when visiting others. But I think sobriety helps us embrace our individuality, know our likes and dislikes, and what we need and don’t need. It sounds like you are thriving in Colorado, living your own way, and you should be proud of that! 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post, Dwight! Comparison is so hard because it seems to come naturally! I’ve got a friend that is super sweet and nice. She met a guy who makes a good amount of money and she now doesn’t have to work, got super healthy and works out daily. She also loves adventures like hiking and enjoying the outdoors. She has the time to just enjoy life and do enjoyable things, every day. My husband and I work our asses off to never get ahead. Money is always a struggle. We live life simply so don’t have an fancy cars or houses. My truck has 194,000 miles on it and currently the dash is lit up like a Christmas tree with warning good lights. We are trying to find out what’s wrong with it, without a huge bill. Anyway, I find myself comparing myself to her and have to stop myself. This is my life, I love my family dearly and I have to enjoy the same things she does, just not everyday. So tonight after work I’m going to do something enjoyable and I’ll look forward to whatever I choose to do. Thanks for your post! ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Jackie. I have to remind myself to focus on all the goodness in my life. There is an abundance when I stop and look. On the money topic, all through my marriage we carried debt year after year. When the divorce came I took on paying $35,500 off. I pretty much followed the Dave Ramsey method and vowed from that point to never go down that road again. It led me to the path of being a minimalist and keeping my life simple. It definitely takes work. Enjoy your night tonight with your family – that my friend is priceless❤️😊

      Liked by 1 person

      • My husband has a friend that’s a financial advisor. ( He doesn’t live near us ) My husband told him how we can’t get ahead and our frustrations. He bought and sent us this book. My husband read it first, I just got done reading it. I’m so happy you happened to mention him! Maybe it was meant to be! Thanks, Dwight!!


  5. Wise words Dwight – the important things in life can not be purchased and sounds to me like you’ve got your priorities right – also love the sound of where you live – give me mountains and blue skies over granite work tops any day! 💞💞

    Liked by 1 person

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