As many of you know, I just got back from a trip out to see my family. It was 10 days living and being around folks 24 x 7. This is quite a feat for a recluse as my mom joked, but she is so correct! I have started getting more social in the last year, but I’m still an empath introvert who can usually only handle 2 to 3 hours of being social then I must leave the ball before my coach turns into a pumpkin. Being around family helped, but it did take up a lot of energy.
While I was there I found myself surprisingly comparing myself to others even though I KNOW this isn’t healthy. I thought I’d share to see if others can relate.
It seemed like everyone’s house sparkled with the latest flooring, kitchens, bathrooms, decorations…while mine was just ughhh. Everyone was driving shiny tight new cars while my 1992 Jeep Cherokee was just..frickin OLD. Huge gatherings were put together with ease to the hill with many family and friends coming together. Hell, I have a very hard time even inviting one person over to my house. Then there were old family group photos of all of us including my ex. I will admit that too stung a bit. For some reason I couldn’t stop myself comparing the contrast between my life and theirs. I even started having thoughts of maybe I should change up my life and move back East or at least as a minimum upgrade my life out here in Colorado.
Like I said, I know better then to go down that path but it happened and now that I think about it, it often happens after trips like this. After getting home and hibernating for a couple days this comparing magically lifted. Could be these beautiful clear blue skies and soaring mountains😊. There’s reasons why I’ve chosen to live the way I’m living my life.
Houses and their insides are no longer a thing for me. I’ve lived in homes over 3,000 sq ft and filled them up with so many of societies treasures that I put myself in crazy amounts of debt. It brought me only stress with no happiness. Today I live debt free in a 1000 sq ft home with stains on some of the carpet, linoleum bathroom floors, and a kitchen that meets my needs but no I don’t have granite counter tops and I don’t want them.
Yes my Jeep is old and bounces all over the road while driving. I do indeed question some times will this thing get me all the way to a particular destination, but that makes adventures a bit more interesting. It’s got character and I refuse to pay outrageous amounts of money for a vehicle I hardly drive.
My social circle is nothing like theirs, but it is growing at a pace that is right for me. Also my small family, two kids, are currently here and I wouldn’t want to be that far away from them.
Trying to wrap this up..this is a long post for old Dwighty! So I’m back home in more ways then one. The monkey mind did get a bit carried away. It happens.
My message is grow your own way and just be YOU🤗
Dwight
