Faded Jeans Living

Howdy folks! I thought for this post I’d catch you up with how eHarmony is going. The goal is to keep it real with no shame in a social media world where everyone supposedly knocks it out of the park everyday and looks gorgeous while doing it.

Back in January I joined the Great Race of starting big goals with dream like expectations. I decided after 7 plus years of not dating I’d get with the times and checkout this online dating scene. I typed in my credit card number, submitted $500+, and bam I was rewarded with my very own profile and the ability to view other profiles that matched the algorithm. To say I was overwhelmed was the least of it. My heart pounded in fear, but I was focused to go on at least one date. I’ll cut to the chase. I ended up going on ZERO dates!

I didn’t have it in me. Simple as that. My motivation was high, but my determination I later discovered was in the negative region. I felt I SHOULD be doing something to bring a romantic love into my life. My god what must others be thinking and saying about me? Did I really want to live alone the rest of my life?

When I first started viewing profiles, I was open and read diligently basic profile info and about me paragraphs and answers to set questions given by eHarmany. I was hopeful! Quickly though I’d discovered key words that would trigger me to say, nope, and moved on to the next. Ultimately I stopped even clicking on some solely based on the physical attraction I had toward them. Picture nope, scroll, nope, maybe, click, trigger, nope, scroll, …Am I proud of this? Certainly not! Is it the truth? Yes. Did I hear rumbles from my soul? Yes.

This just wasn’t the way for me. It felt wrong, awkward, and unnatural. I’d send an interest out and nothing came back. Some others would send me an interest and I wasn’t interested. I finally admitted to myself I didn’t have what it takes energy and confidence wise to make this process work. So after only 4 months, I canceled my membership. I wanted out. There was no refund. Once again life provided me a valuable education.

So what’s my plan moving forward in finding that someone special to share my life with? No clue, but I’m okay with it. For now. This human experience is definitely a trip!

Peace,

Dwight🦋