That noise
Instincts kick in
Senses go into full alert
I know it so well
As I access the situation
Past encounters flash across my screen
I exhale noticing I’ve been holding my breath
How far away is it will determine if it will pounce or has already passed
To late
It’s in my face
A firm roar echoes throughout my body
Ignoring won’t make this stop
A response is demanded
But no matter how I do I’m fucked
This is the way it plans it’s traps
Carefully formulated full of hate
No escape
From where this well flows I’ll never quite understand
It’s time to play as has been said
I jump on a boulder to gain some distance and time
Another deep exhale
I send out my best gentle howl to take away the pressure
Like a small flare
Light is good right?
STRIKE ONE
Twist and tear
It stings
Burns
Aches
I hold it in
No noise
No movement
Maybe that’s all it was
STRIKE TWO
The stomp
To fight back will make it worse
To provide more fuel is foolish
I play dead
Is it Satisfied?
Frustrated?
The strikes stop
It has sauntered off for now
My body shakes
If you could believe it
At one time I had hope it would find empathy
We could be friends
I’ve given up hope for that
I close my messages
I set my phone down
And the ego replays the attack for the rest of the day
_______________________________
*This was from last month. I’m all good, but it’s very interesting how “I interpret” what others do into such a dramatic event. I’m human I guess and don’t do very good quickly letting things go. Looking back I should of read the text and let it go without this whole crazy digestion. I’m sure some of you can relate? How do you pause when a strike seams like a strike?
Faded Jeans Living 
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