The STOMP

That noise

Instincts kick in

Senses go into full alert

I know it so well

As I access the situation

Past encounters flash across my screen

I exhale noticing I’ve been holding my breath

How far away is it will determine if it will pounce or has already passed

To late

It’s in my face

A firm roar echoes throughout my body

Ignoring won’t make this stop

A response is demanded

But no matter how I  do I’m fucked

This is the way it plans it’s traps

Carefully formulated full of hate

No escape

From where this well flows I’ll never quite understand

It’s time to play as has been said

I jump on a boulder to gain some distance and time

Another deep exhale

I send out my best gentle howl to take away the pressure

Like a small flare

Light is good right?

STRIKE ONE

Twist and tear

It stings

Burns

Aches

I hold it in

No noise

No movement

Maybe that’s all it was

STRIKE TWO

The stomp

To fight back will make it worse

To provide more fuel is foolish

I play dead

Is it Satisfied?

Frustrated?

The strikes stop

It  has sauntered off for now

My body shakes

If you could believe it

At one time I had hope it would find empathy

We could be friends

I’ve given up hope for that

I close my messages

I set my phone down

And the ego replays the attack for the rest of the day

_______________________________

*This was from last month. I’m all good, but it’s very interesting how “I interpret” what others do into such a dramatic event. I’m human I guess and don’t do very good quickly letting things go. Looking back I should of read the text and let it go without this whole crazy digestion. I’m sure some of you can relate? How do you pause when a strike seams like a strike?

20 thoughts on “The STOMP

  1. I’ve never regretted pausing…even days, before responding. That response is much different than the one I shoot off, and then immediately regret putting it into the universe. So hard to master though…the art of the pause.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s been something I’m working on and a big challenge for me. Only yesterday I received a work email that kick started a big anxiety reaction. I was on the train heading to work and felt panic. I went to reply immediately but put phone down. Forced myself to breathe. Listened to a buddhify meditation and then waited until I left at 3pm to respond. I’m not gonna lie .. it did piss me off for the entire day but at least I paused!!!
    Xx

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Pausing….yeah still working on that one! LOL! Recently when a lady I have worked for, for almost 10 years said very bluntly to me “There are certain things that are not getting done around here.” Me instantly: “Really? Because you have sent me to do a task 4 times in a row which is not important to what is going on now and quite frankly is a waste of my time here. Things not getting done are not my fault”

    Yep, then I paused! LOL! Whoopsie! What I said was OK, but I could have been more professional about the delivery!

    Well that wasn’t a social media/text or email example….

    Did I help you at all?
    I should really work on the pausing!

    Wait….however, come to think of it I have paused a lot in my alcohol abstinence. Maybe there is hope for me! LOL! LOL!

    One more thing…great poetic thoughts!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. this is a neat way to express yourself and very poetic as well. My last post probably reflects that sentiment as well. i just paused for the night ..ok ..well the next day also. I will be sending some time this week re evaluating some of my more rigid expectations and plans and making adjustments. I write poetry myself and wow..sometimes when i go back and read the lines i just cringe…lmao..but hey, it’s what i felt at the time!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Lovie. Half the time when I write these types of posts they don’t make any sense to anyone else but that’s okay cause I just need to get it out. Usually it’s in the early morning hours like now when everything is so quiet and I just dance with my thoughts and write it as it comes✌️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Awesome poetry, Dwight. ⚡️💥👌
    Re: “it’s very interesting how ‘I interpret’ what others do into such a dramatic event.”…. I do have this problem ALL THE DANG TIME. It takes a crazy amount of self-restraint not to go into my usual ways of reacting. I don’t always succeed. 😁

    Like

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