Sunday Morning Sober Beauty Tips by Dwight

Okay, I know all you superheroes have been asking for so so so long now, how do I keep myself looking so beautiful? Well, today is The Day I share those beauty secrets with you!

This is my Sunday morning regiment.

1. Get some tunes going! Don’t try this without it. After 55 years, I’ve learned picking the right music genre can make or break any situation.

2. Plug the sink drain and setup your vacuum so you have easy access to it. Preplanning is the key to any success. You want to have all your tools ready to go.

3. Grab your clippers and start from the front of your head and go up. Pull down those old man ears and make sure you get around them too. Every other week make sure you hit the stash and beard. Lastly, get the back. You’ll need a pretty pink mirror just like mine to make sure you didn’t miss any spots. Never underestimate the beauty power of pink. Bonus tip: Brush out and oil your clippers weekly. Just like good maintenance of you is important for your longevity, so it is for clippers.

4. Get your small clippers and trim above your upper lip. Don’t forget the small strip under your mouth either. Trim those brows too with just a tap.

5. Okay now it’s time for a bit of cleanup. Us superheroes can’t be successful working in a messy area. Start up that vacuum and sucky sucky up all that hair. Make sure you use it on the back of your neck too.

6. Pull out your shaving cream and razor and get er done. Don’t cheap out on reusing a dull blade. Trust me. Rinse blade frequently and tap twice on sink each time. Pull out old pinky to help you see and hit the back of the neck with razor. You probably weren’t thinking of that area were you? It’s all in the details. Small things like this can bring out the WOW factor.

7. Rinse out that sink from all those tiny hairs. You may just need to put on your readers. Habits from being married are hard to break. Yes some of us do become wiser. Some.

8. Turn up the volume on the tunes, since the next stop is the stage…I mean shower. Got be able to hear the jams when you’re scrubbing and singing. Sing it loud, sing it proud!

9. As you swagger from your completed shower/concert, head back over to the sink to do your normal after routine but also add a rose pedal cleanse followed up 15 minutes later with some face cream. The magic is in the timing. If you’re really feeling crazy sprinkle on some magical dusting powder in all those special spots.

It will help you stay cool all over. And yes you are very COOL … like The Fonz…heyyyy.

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10. Top off the perfection with just a smidge of lip balm and the secret sauce of a tiny tiny tap of Old Spice on each cheek (Face). Feels nice.

And this is the ultimate perfection you end up with!

That’s my weekly sober buzz now a days…just so much beauty it can only make you SMILE 😀


Hope you enjoyed all the nonsense I laid down this Sunday morning. This is what us sober folks do..we don’t care anymore about what others think and can laugh at ourselves and have a ball since hangovers have left the stadium. We even dance a lot more now! Remember: The actual beauty within is the sober prize you win.💯

Peace out,

Your personal beauty consultant – Dwight❤️

Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother

You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive

Feel the city breakin’ and everybody shakin’

And we’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive

– Bee Gees

21 thoughts on “Sunday Morning Sober Beauty Tips by Dwight

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