I’m no longer “THE” Mr. Hyde

It’s been an emotional stressful last two days. I took my son, Bob, to the emergency room on Monday because his arm was all swollen and discolored. After providing him an education on seeing some of our “finest” citizens in the waiting room for 4 hours, he finally was able to get an ultrasound and we found out he’s got a blood clot. He was given blood thinners and sent on his way to figure out navigating next steps in our just glorious capitalist frickin healthcare system! I think I’m being clear on how I feel about all that.

Just to let you know he’s not in any pain and we’re meeting with his primary care provider today and hoping she can help us get into seeing a specialist soon.

Bob is 21 and when went up to register, to join the ER circus, the ringmaster kept saying Mr. Hyde and by reflex I kept perking up, ready to respond, only to notice it wasn’t me she was addressing but instead … the new Mr. Hyde. That’s right, that right there put me back on my heals, literally!

This was our first walk in this new territory of adulthood and it’s a bit strange for me. I’ve always been the one showing up, taking control, being strong, and mapping out a path forward. When I realized I was no longer the “Mr. Hyde” it was a bit of a blow and to be honest I felt pushed back as the new Mr. Hyde stepped forward. Like … go graze in the pasture old timer. Okay I know I know it wasn’t that bad…but in my mind that’s kinda how I was feeling. I’m sure this makes no sense.

We got home late, so yesterday morning I pulled out the discharge papers, saw who we needed to contact, and got a pad of paper and pen. It was 9 AM, game time, but Bob wasn’t ready. What the heck? Well this is his first rodeo so I do understand. As you know with these types of things it takes a lot of calling and being persistent. No I told him they don’t usually call back and we’ll have to follow up in a couple hours …and we did.

I definitely tried to bulldoze and got nowhere fast. I do this when I’m scared and don’t have all the facts. Yep, still growing in that department. Halfway through the day, I realized I could let him drive instead and I’ll help by being the navigator. This afternoon will be my big test when we go talk to his primary doc. I need to remind myself coaching is great but I’m not helping him learn/navigate life by helicoptering.

So I’m rambling here trying to throw things out and also connecting dots. I do realize when it comes to the health of our kids we’ll do anything to get them better. I’m still scared but am hopeful as we learn more it will get better. I don’t have many male followers, but am very curious how other dads felt when they realized they were no longer “the one” and had to step next to their son – man to man? That’s the whole goal for sure, but it’s a bit awkward right now.

Thanks for reading,

Dwight

17 thoughts on “I’m no longer “THE” Mr. Hyde

  1. Keeping Bob in prayers as well (and you too) as you navigate this new world. 🙂 I think that it’s a beautiful gift you give your son to walk along side him now that he’s older. He’ll always need for you to be there, no matter how old he gets when you are supportive, kind and caring like you are being and not overbearing nor controlling. (Which you aren’t being).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I really hope he’s doing ok and that you are too my friend. I don’t know what to say about the father son thing. I am finding my two boys growing up to be a bitter sweet experience. I love their ever developing personalities and seeing who they may become. I also miss my little boys and being the person who made their choices for them, who took the decisions. Now they take the lead at times and it’s scary!! You sound to me like you are doing a fantastic job and no matter how old we get, we always value having that unconditional love and support in our lives. ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think often it’s harder for us to deal with medical problems of those closest to us than our own ones, so I understand how stressful this is for you, Dwight. I hope you will get all the answers you need and am sure your son will be fine!
    Warm wishes,
    Tanja

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We met with his primary care provider and she is comfortable with the
    August 6 date to see the hematologist. The main thing he’s taking the blood thinners and they will dissolve the blot clot within a few weeks. The hematologist will help determine what may have caused it and how long he’ll need to be on blood thinners. At a minimum it may be for 6 months. Not sure. For now, he’ll be on a bit of light duty at work until we meet with the hematologist. He also can’t do intense physical activities like skateboarding and mountain biking. Being on blood thinners is a risk with bleeding from cuts. So that’s where we are at. Not great but that’s how life rolls good with the bad. Again he’s not in any pain and by following the above actions we should be good moving forward.

    Liked by 2 people

    • So glad as I was reading comments that you updated! I really am thinking of you both and hoping moving forward goes as planned. As parents no matter the age when something is wrong or if they are going through something serious our parental mindfulness kicks in. You’re such a great guy and Bob will always need you but I totally understand how it changes and I don’t think I’ll be quite ready for that. My girls are 17 and 18 and one minute they want my advice and help and the next minute my advice is “stupid.” 😂 That really didn’t have anything to do with the topic of your blog, I just got rambling. 😆 Anyway keep us posted and again, sure thinking of you both! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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