I thought 6 months of being sober after drinking for 40 years warranted a post. Plus I thought for those starting down this path that hopefully there may be some information that would resonate with what their experiencing. When I quit drinking I was more then ready. There was much guilt the day after a binge session plus way to many hangovers. I knew it wasn’t healthy for me in any fashion at all. There was also my soul laying down a slow steady bass beat in the background of give yourself a chance Dwight. At 53, I had been leaning on alcohol since I was 13. I had so many Day Ones I couldn’t even count. But this time around I was truly onboard.
I started my sobriety 3 plus years out from my divorce after being married for 16 years with two kids. I was making some progress on digesting that whole crushing scene plus I had less then 1 year left on paying off $35,5000 in debt. Coming up out of those low valleys encouraged me to take on my alcohol dragon. My first month of being sober I pumped myself up by reading tons of books on quitting alcohol. Reading everyone’s story with eventually happy endings definitely helped push me along. It was like when you first start off on a new job or exercise program your all jazzed and usually surrounded by other like minded people. I joined a forum and just immersed myself into this new world of how to be sober. I didn’t go down the AA route because for me I have my own hang ups with religion and the 12 steps. That’s just me though. I’ve read many books and follow many bloggers where it works for them and I fricken applaud them. The one book for me that really helped with the transition was by Annie Grace called This Naked Mind. I’ll do anther post on that someday. So yeah, the first month I was cleaning out my body from the poison and feeling pretty darn excited.
At about at 3 weeks the “glitz” wasn’t shining as much. The realization came that I no longer had my tool to escape from reality. All of my main issues around depression, debt, divorce, health, insecurities…. were still there plus now I was feeling guilt on how alcohol had harmed me for all those years. Also, I had to back away from the sober community I joined, because seeing so many folks repeat day 1 over and over was almost like a trigger for me and I certainly didn’t want to go down that path anymore. What I did do though is start following some sober bloggers here in WordPress who had been successful being sober for some time and that has helped me tremendously.
I won’t go month by month but needless to say it’s a shit load of hard work! Hard work that I’m so grateful for!! Not being able to check out when life or my thoughts start fucking with me was extremely difficult. Just sitting there and finally for once in my life just looking straight at it and dealing with it sober took everything I had. The good news is I’m getting better at it and each time I feel a bitter better about myself and I’ll just say it – Proud!
One thing I learned was that many of us who stop drinking including myself pick other coping mechanisms. Mine was emotional eating and I’m currently working my ass off , literally, on curbing that. This inner work is a trip and the ego is a nasty little fuck!
So at 6 months I’m feeling so much more love for myself and know I’ll never go back. My soul is smiling more each day and my confidence is growing. The support and bonding here on WordPress is just priceless. I know I still have a lot of work to do, but now I’m taking control of my life, living my life sober, and discovering a new power within. I hope that for all of you.
* For those interested in learning more about alcohol and possibly exploring going AF check out these resources and blogs
- Read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE YOU’RE THE HERO IN YOUR MOVIE – Joe Rogan FightMediocrity
It’s never to late. I’m making this my fucking comeback story and YES for once I’m the Hero!!!
If you have questions or comments you don’t want to post here you can always email me at dwight@FadedJeansLiving,com
Thank you for reading and your support!