Going alcohol free wasn’t as easy as it might of looked

* Please understand I am a binge drinker and can’t handle just having one. It just doesn’t work for me, but I am by no means judging others who can partake. I’m not looking for any type of “good job Dwight”. I’m just hoping this helps someone who is on this journey. It’s not easy.

You might know that I quit alcohol February 19, 2019. It may have appeared I just decided to quit and I was off and running. Well here’s a peak back into my journal to 10-25-2015.

10-20-2015 entry

“Toying with the idea of quitting alcohol. I’ve thrown beers from the fridge into the garbage 3 times now. That little soul voice within keeps whispering it’s time. 35 plus years. I’m a little nervous of what Courtney, Jeff, Lori and Dave will think, but it’s my body my choice and I must start unfolding and being me.

Why quit now? 35 years of drinking is enough. Don’t like the tears it brings after many drinks. Makes me feel bad afterwards – not clean. Don’t like the hangovers. Too much spending on it. Worry about driving. Eating too much while drinking. Not good for my health – brain, liver, skin. Trying to live a cleaner spiritual life – doesn’t fit in. Don’t like possible actions it could cause. Bad role model for my kids. Bad breath, burbs, and not being sober around them. Makes me more emotional, angry at times during and after.”

So here’s my broken record to all of you. Two things. Don’t wait..look at my example 35 years quickly turned to 40 years before it finally clicked. In between I experienced more of the same above year after year. And believe me there were numerous attempts to quit prior to all that. I know I know you hear this all the time from us sober fricks, but for me life is so so much better when not living in the fog! Secondly, don’t EVER give up! One day it will click! 😊



20 responses to “Going alcohol free wasn’t as easy as it might of looked”

  1. Yes to all of this! I really feel I need to start journaling! Thanks for kick starting my morning off on a energetic foot! 😍

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for sharing this, Dwight! I can really relate and although I am still waiting for it to completely “click” for me, it helps to hear that has for you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. So wonderful to see your comment😊. It’s such a process with how we were conditioned to lean on it for years. Glad it helped – always honor your steps and be kind to yourself. Hope to hear from you some more. I’m here for you and support you, no matter what.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Thanks for sharing, I remember writing in my diary after one birthday about 3 years ago. Everyone had brought me birthday cards with drinks on or drinking connotations. I remember writing worried that, that’s how people associated me. Nice not to worry about it any more ♡

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That always happened to me! Or there were numerous comments about my ability to drink with the best of them, knock it back or drink people out of house and home!!! Started to really embarrass me and I saw myself as that person and that person only. So sad 😞 xxx

      Liked by 2 people

    2. I hear you on not having to worry about that anymore😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think this is great Dwight. I know that because I didn’t start blogging until I gave up the booze just over a year ago it can appear that I drank, decided I didn’t want to and gave up. But that is not the case. I went back and forth, just as you did. I worry people reading blogs feel like they are failing and that they stop reaching out but we all failed and failed in many ways until we suddenly didn’t fail and it stuck. We just hadn’t written about it at those previous points. It’s good that you did and so valuable to have that in black and white as a stark reminder of what it felt like for you back when …
    love and light to you my friend 💕💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Claire. I agree I think it help others too.👍

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for sharing, Dwight. And got always being so encouraging! 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  6. When I first started this sober journey I definitely got the impression that most people just up and decided to quit, then did it without looking back. I know now just how long it takes many of us to get to a sticking point with it. It’s hard not to judge my waffling over the last two years but I’m 44 days strong now and hoping to heaven this is it for me. Thanks for sharing – it’s important for people to know that this journey can take a long time!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re welcome – keep going strong👍


  7. I am glad it has finally clicked for you (and for all those who commented that they are on the journey). I cannot really relate because I have never been much of a drinker but I did quit smoking SEVERAL times before I quit for good ten years ago. The struggle is real 🥺. I root for anyone breaking free from drinking, drugs, smoking, overeating, etc. It is hard but so worth it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your encouragement and empathy, Anne.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. awesome…just seeing this…i think i know of no one who has not gone back & forth at the beginning at least, and as you well know, many of us do at various times..the key is to keep trying. Re reading old journal notes/blog posts always reinforces what i know and reminds me of the hell i went thru to get where i ‘m at..kudos!

    Liked by 1 person

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