hope

Till Next Time

/ Dwight / 12 Comments

How do you slay a dragon when it brings forth fire breathing depression on your ass? First, you find the courage to face it. Second, you use every tool you have in your arsenal. Third, it’s impossible to completely slay, but the sooner you deal with it the sooner you start feeling better. For me, the depression starts getting smaller and smaller and eventually flies away. I know it will come again, but next time I will be more prepared.

Tools I used the last 4 days battling my dragon:

  • This online community
  • Stabilize sleep patterns
  • Drink apple cider vinegar
  • Decaf coffee
  • Morning stretches
  • Cold showers
  • Taking dogs and me for walks
  • Meditation
  • Give thanks/prayer
  • Strength training
  • Exercise bike
  • Turmeric tea
  • Fasting
  • Being kind to self
  • Cleaned my house
  • Spend time with loved ones

Summary:

This time around I forced myself to deal with it by making the commitment and documenting it here. Usually I would of road it out hiding in bed with a pillow over my head. I didn’t succeed every day, but each day the tools helped me emotionally and physically which relieved some of the pressure of depression. One insight was my sleep patterns need much help. I had one night where I got 5 straight hours of sleep and felt like a different person. Imagine 6 hours straight🤪. After much thought, I am going to inquire from my doc about going to a sleep lab. Lastly, I’m discovering the food I consume definitely comes into play with all of this. I need to get disciplined in that area for sure. I’m going to also explore incorporating fasting once every so often. It did seem to help like a type of cleanse.

On Day 1, I was regretting making this commitment to myself and you all. Now it’s Day 5 and I’m so glad I did it. Who knows maybe in the future you’ll see more “daily journal” posts on healthy eating or working on my sleep. I’m very grateful for all of you reading, commenting, and supporting me these last days. Thank you🤗

Best Wishes,

Dwight❤️

Beyond the Like

/ Dwight / 2 Comments

PhotoByBob

2018.  I don’t usually go down the whole new year resolutions path, but this year I have a calling that won’t shut up.  It says…Get off the fence!  Speak up!  Your voice counts and now the time is right to put yourself out there a bit.  Stop hiding Dwight HYDE : ).

So what is the calling you may ask?  Still trying to figure it all out, but basically I believe it’s to share my heart with others.  I’ve sat alone and read/heard so many stories from beautiful souls that just makes my heart break open and the tears flowing.  At those times I realize there is so much love inside that’s just waiting to come out.  Crazy.  51 years old and I’m a big old sap.  I guess the work I’ve been doing on getting back in touch with ME has opened this new door.  I’m not complaining and now is the time to take action.

I’m drawn to respond to others beyond the basic thumbs up Like.  I want to get past that to a new level where the other person knows  –> I dig you, I dig what you wrote and how you are currently feeling.  I get you.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!  I’m also trying to connect more with men who sometimes hide their feelings and spread this message especially to them.

I know for myself when I’ve wrote something from my heart and put it out there that I’m always touched when others respond with love.   I’m not trying to get likes – I’m trying to grow and truly connect and so far have been so happy with the results.  I feel people want REAL stories of the good, bad, and the ugly.  It’s f’n reality.  Not this bullshit “News” put out by the media to get more clicks..more advertisement revenue.  People want to connect and man we really do have more in common then what the news presents.  We all suffer, get depressed, and are all trying to figure it all out for sure.  I’ve been so depressed in the past I didn’t want live anymore.  I’ve been so depressed that I couldn’t get out bed and had to take 6 weeks off of work to start working on my mental health.  I’ve been so far in debt that at the age of 49 I had to ask my mother for a loan.  I’ve been through a divorce after 16 years of marriage when I still wanted to be married.  Real shit.  No shit.  And I know there are many others out there and that’s why I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone and speaking out…Beyond the Like.

So, for those who enjoy my rambling post like this one – Thank You – and expect to see more comments from me.

I dig you!!

 

Hope

/ Dwight / Leave a comment

image

And then out of the corner of my eye I thought I felt hope sneak in.  I chose to not look directly  in fear of  her vanishing in a flash.  She’s here and that’s all I care.  My body starts to warm, my heart breaks a small smile, and the light from within  begins to brighten.   Welcome Hope.  It’s been awhile.