Faded Jeans Living

The patterns are very similar. I’m very “good” for a bit. I’m firing on all cylinders, watching what I’m eating, fasting in the mornings, and putting in long workouts. I decide to put it into cruise control since I’m nailing it and have it all figured out.

Life is golden until… a small bump in the road. One morning, I don’t fast and decide to indulge in a huge breakfast while mindlessly watching YouTube. Captivated by the content, my fork continues to lift food into my mouth. I don’t even realize I’m no longer hungry. Eventually, I close YouTube and I’ve just eaten a breakfast meant for probably two people. No definitely meant for two!

No worries, I tap the brakes a bit to get out of cruise control. With a little focus, I can correct this small bump by bypassing lunch. No problem.

Small guilt starts whispering in my ear, “You really blew it this morning.” I ignore it until I see a huge billboard for fast food. The shake displayed looks amazing, and I think, “I already blew it today, why not stop and just get a shake? It’s hot out and, gosh darn it, I deserve it!” You can see how this day is going to end. Not good!

The guilt overtakes me at night, and I vow to start anew tomorrow. But the next day brings more bumps in the road of life. Once again, I get off track. Repeat this a few more days, and I have a great eating binge going.

Finally, I wake up feeling too bloated and gross to even consider overeating. I fast, eat mindfully for the day, work out, and with a few days under my belt, I’m ready to put this vehicle back into cruise control.

Learning nothing from this pattern just leads to insanity. I’m not insane. This feels too much like my past struggles with alcohol abuse. So here I am, looking back at how I crawled out of the bottle and thinking I can use some of those techniques to start eating mindfully.

Educate Myself

When I quit drinking, I read close to 20 books on getting sober. Some were amazing, while others were not so much. Each one, though, taught me at least one new insight. It also allowed me to mentally connect with like-minded individuals who had the same goal. By reading, I’m creating a new neural network in my brain toward eating. Today, I downloaded the following books on my Kindle: Intuitive Eating for Every Day, Eat What You Love – Love What You Eat, and Intuitive Eating – A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach. I started reading Eat What You Love and can relate to the Overeating Cycle and Restrictive Eating Cycle.

Connect with Others

Blogging about my sober journey connected me with many loving, supportive souls who were either on the same journey or who had become sober and were living a sober life. I gained so much knowledge and motivation from each group, so that’s my goal now regarding my eating. I know blogging about my eating experiences will make me accountable and open to connecting with others.

Do the Work

With these two tools, I’m starting my climb out of this canyon I’ve made. I’ll use other tools I have as I get along further. I know exactly where I’m at. I’ve been here before but now have techniques and wisdom to help me climb uP. My approach will be full of love and kindness toward myself. There will be NO DIET involved. When I’m hungry, I will eat. I will eat mindfully with both hands on the wheel and eyes focused on the road. I hope you will follow along.

DAY 1, 0 MINUTES

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Peace,

Dwight🦋