I’ve never created a year end type summary post because quite frankly there hasn’t been a whole hell of a lot to “highlight”. This year though, I feel like my Phoenix spread it wings and started to lift off. Before I start I want say whole heartedly thank you all for your love and encouragement.
It’s one thing to come out of the ash knowing you are no longer the same. Taking flight is a whole other endeavor. It took 4 years of self imposed imprisonment for me to finally start to rise. As weird as it sounds, it wasn’t until my alimony and maintenance agreements were complete that I felt my sentence was lifted.
3 things I’m thankful for accomplishing in 2019
- Getting fricken sober! Can I get an amen from the choir. (Pausing for the amen now. Maybe even some whoop whoops). This completely pulled me out of the fog of my life from numbing and forced me to face my dragons and start working through my shit and see I’m lovable. I’m worthy. I have tons of love to give,
- Getting healthier. Emotionally and physically. These accomplishments all flow together like dominos. Being sober forced me into becoming aware and seeing facing the dragons is the only way forward. I kicked my ass halfway through the year for not making progress on losing some weight and made good gains in that area.
- Getting social. I forced myself past discomfort and now get out with other folks at least 4 to 5 times a week. I also just recently met someone who I thoroughly enjoy spending time with and am looking forward to continue to grow that relationship❤️
Along with all this, I feel like WE grew closer. Yes my little tribe of misfit cape crusaders have grown to a pretty neat tight group! I’m so grateful for you all in my life. This has been the best therapy for me becoming friends with you🤗. I’m starting to take flight and know this new decade will bring new experiences, joy, and growth for us all.
Today was my hanging of the lights day. This was the first time in so many years, I can’t even remember, that I didn’t swill like a 100 beers afterwards to keep me in the holiday spirit. I’m full of gratefulness and plenty of love from you all that helps me fly solo without alcohol. I was reminded this morning though that this is indeed not always a joyous time of year for many.
My good friend Functioningguzzler posted today, Christmas is not festive for everyone. If your not familiar with FG please read her post and follow. Also, please send her love in the comments on her post. We have so much love in our community here and right now FG needs it.
The other night I was leaving yoga and I saw this gentlemann slowly walking on the sidewalk with a walker. It was dark out, cold, and there was still some snow and ice on the ground. Something just didn’t seem right and I’m finally learning to listen to my intuition and ACT.
Me: How’s it going?
Me: Is that your car in front of mine?
Me: Where you headed?
Him: My house on Elm.
I asked him if he wanted a ride and he said sure. We get his walker into my back seat and he slowly gets into the passenger seat and I shut the door for him. He looked to be in his mid thirties. We’re driving and I could tell something was wrong as he slowly talked and tried to pronounce his words.
Him: I had a stroke and I’ve been trying to get out and exercise, but didn’t realize how long it took me to get over here. (about a 1/2 mile from his house)
Me: I’m so sorry to hear that you had a stroke.
Him: Yah, this is my second one. (then long pause)… I guess it could be worse.
After I dropped him off, all I could think about was his statement it could be worse. How many times have I done the whole woe is me or created self drama over nothing. Nothing!
I often forget it could be a lot worse.
Roll with the Small stuff and Appreciate and be Grateful for everything you have!
It was a good day. Sam, my 1968 camper, came home from having his gas tank lined due to rust. Sucks getting old and oh how can I relate. The great Great Spirit is shining on him though with some love here. I just picked up Sam at the end of last year and he’s been in and out of the shop for various repairs, so today was a good bonding day. I started up in the cab and commenced cleaning. I swear Sam hasn’t seen any TLC and many moons. Tomorrow is a tear out day in Sam where I’m going to remove an old sink and fridge. There’s so much work to do but that’s why I bought Sam. I needed a hobby and when I saw him my heart smiled and I knew we were meant for each other. We’re both a bit older, slower, rustier, but still have great potential to shine again and head out on this highway of life! Feeling grateful! And so it is.