Acknowledge: Enough is enough

I feel like that dad in a family that refuses to acknowledge for the longest time he has a huge problem in his home. It’s not like he’s unaware, it’s just “easier” to ignore it instead of facing it and admitting he helped cause much of the pain.

I admit at 54 I’ve been silent in my white world while black Americans are being discriminated on a daily basis and have suffered numerous atrocities as a race.

Enough is enough. I come to this table admitting my part and am ready to be part of the solution. I start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being silent and not helping you as you have suffered in pain. I have not been the loving human I need to be. I preach so much above oneness-support-love, but when it’s truly needed right in front of me, I’ve failed to give it.

I know you’re grieving and angry. You have EVERY RIGHT to be. I have failed you in the past, but today I come to this table wanting to learn more and help you.

Sincerely,

Dwight Hyde

30 five ACTIONS: Week 2

In my endeavor to do five actions daily for 30 days, I completely ignored most of them in week 2. There wasn’t one activity I did consistently each day. I have no excuses. I just didn’t feel like doing them. The interesting thing though is I feel absolutely no guilt and actually feel better then I have in months.

I did go mountain biking twice last week and that actually propelled me up. As shitty as it can be at times huffing and puffing up hills it’s actually fun in a sick way pushing myself beyond my controlled comfortable numbness. There’s no faking it. It’s also a rush to try to stay balanced wizzing down a hill going over rocks and roots and trying to take sharp turns…all at the age of 54. You can hear me nervously giggle the whole way. And even though I’ve only gone three times now I feel like I’m improving.

I feel frickin alive. I feel challenged. I feel good.

So, I’ll eat that up for week 2!

Peace,

Dwight

30 five ACTIONS: Week 1

“There is only one person that’s responsible for your life and that is YOU! Not your boss, not your spouse, not your parents, not your friends, not your clients, not the economy, not the weather. YOU!” – Marc Reklau

To recap from last week, I hadn’t been feeling very motivated and decided to challenge myself by doing five actions daily for 30 days. My goal was just to take action and make small changes that will improve my human experience. Here are my five actions:

  • Meditate
  • Eat better
  • Exercise

So how has it been going?

  • Wim Hof breathing exercises – I’ve done this consistently every morning before I get out bed. It seems to help by clearing out my mind and putting me in ready mode.
  • Wim Hof cold showers – Yikes😀. To be transparent, I’m only doing my last 2 minutes in cold water. For me, I figured out soaping up and shampooing needs to be done in hot so I can wash it all out. Those last 2 minutes of cold water is definitely a challenge, and if you’re walking by my house you’ll definitely hear some hoots and yelps from this exercise. Once complete though, I’m refreshed, awake, and jazzed to start my day.
  • Meditate – This is definitely a work in progress from doing it laying in bed to sitting on the couch. I know many will balk at laying down, but this is my adventure : ) I haven’t been consistent each day, but when I have meditated I’ve gone for 10 minutes. My mind definitely gets off track and I need to real it back. Interesting exercise. I think this week instead of trying in the morning, I’ll meditate after lunch and see how that goes. That’s the time period I really need to reset to a better calmed state.
  • Eat better – So far this hasn’t happened. I’ve been inconsistently consistent.. We’ll see how next week goes.
  • Exercise – This is going well. Everyday I’ve done some form of exercise. I was hoping to mix in more weight training, but it’s been pretty much cardio. You all probably read my adventure Sunday mountain biking🤪. I definitely enjoy being outdoors.

Overall for week 1:

  • I have in no way beat myself up for not doing an action a “certain/prescribed” way or for missing days. Practicing being kind to myself.
  • I’m feeling more focused and much of life’s pressures weighing on me has lightened
  • I’m feeling better about me and not once did I bury my head under my pillow to escape

This has definitely helped me get out of my funk!

Take care super heroes,

Dwight

Lung Buster

KINDA went on a mountain bike ride today with my son Bob. It had been a couple years since we last road and both of us were pumped to get out in this beautiful weather and the woods. The ride is called Little Scraggy Loop. A harmless name for a 12 mile loop. Sounds perfect.

Well. Well hell. Yep. Ohhhhh my. We started on a hill and this extra weight I’m carrying and all my good motivation seemed to not help at all. Weird. I knew I was in trouble immediately as I had to get off my bike for the first of many walking the bike up parts. I was still determined after I hacked out my first lung. Got two, right. As I struggled good lookin fit people wizzed by tossing encouragement. To be honest evil Dwight felt like flipping them off. I know I know they meant well. So I huffed. I puffed. And lost my second lung. Little fricker deserted me. I couldn’t go any further after 1 mile. Yep only one mile I made it and had to do the turnaround of shame on de frickin Little Big Ass Scraggy Shitty Loop. Ughhhhh!

My son was fine and he was more then kind. He said no prob we’ll try again at the end of the summer. I thought I better get my shit together folks. I mean like really together. Like packed in a suitcase next to me shit together. You’re waiting for the silver lining right? For god sake it’s Sunday you’re saying … you can’t have us feeling all bad going into a work week. Hmm well..

I gave it my first attempt. I got the fuck out of my house, out of my mind, but most importantly I was with my beautiful son BOB. We laughed, bonded, and had great conversations.

Life is good my friends. Sending all my love and support to each one of you❤️

Peace,

Dwight

* Yes that’s duck tape on my seat. 1990 baby. Rode like a Cadillac when I bought it. Old school😊😎🤪

30 five ACTIONS

“There is only one person that’s responsible for your life and that is YOU! Not your boss, not your spouse, not your parents, not your friends, not your clients, not the economy, not the weather. YOU!”

– Marc Reklau, 30 Days Change your habits Change your life

For those who don’t know, I’ve been down/off I’d say for the last month and a half. All appearances I act and look fine, but behind the scene I’m doing a lot of lying in bed with a pillow over my head hiding from life and craving peace and to just check out. I’m not about to analyze all that here, but I am going to discuss next steps.

For me, I eventually get to a point where I’m basically sick and tired of being sick and tired, and realize I need to pick myself up. No magic fairy dust is in sight. I’m so beyond “these are interesting trying times”. So I came up with this 30 five ACTIONS idea to share out here.

Here are my five actions that I’m committing to daily for the next 30 days:

  • Meditate
  • Eat better
  • Exercise

I purposely didn’t get specific on these. My goal is just to take action and make small changes that will improve my human experience. After each week, I’ll create a new post with an update on my progress. If you’d like to participate and come up with actions of your own, I’d love to hear about it in posts from you. The number 1 rule though is..there are no rules. Whatever works for you. Yours might be the 20 two actions. You get the point.

Peace my friends,

Dwight

Hold on

I’m working my way back.

This human experience is an interesting ride.

I find myself lost and just holding on often, buried deep within my mind.

Overrun by waves of nonsense built up and programmed for 54 years.

Just when I’m about at my end though, cracks of light come.

My guides are always here, it’s I who left.

Anyone out there barely holding on try to quiet your mind.

Breathe in Peace, Send out Love

Dwight❤️

MOO

Hello my friends. Just wanted to check in and say Moo. If you keep saying it, it may make you smile. You just stretched it out and said mooooooo didn’t you? I’m feeling a bit like this cow. Not quite sure. Just kinda still. I’m here and right now that’s enough. Hopefully soon I’ll have something more enlightening to say.

Until then,

MOO ❤️

Flashback

Went outside today to sit on my porch and enjoy the sun and had the experience above. Was a total flashback of me in the early 80s. No internet, video games, or mobile phones. With all that’s going on right now, I got a good vibe that just maybe we might slow down a bit and start “living” instead of buying, doing, and super sizing. It made me smile especially the t-shirt😎

Dwight

Paused

 

Words are hard to find you see, so not many comments from me.

A tornado of thoughts though, and a way I fly.

There must be a reason, at least I believe so.

A hand holds us down bringing us to our knees.

Be still and sit in the corner to think of our deeds.

No this isn’t a sin so don’t go there.

An awaking I guess is better to say.

The time is now and you have no choice.

You’ve fallen before. You know this course.

Except this time it’s with everyone else too.

So big it’s hard to comprehend.

All thrown up with one big change.

Together we hunker all on one side like never before.

So we sit.

And we fret.

And make silly comments as we shake from within.

Hoping it will be over soon, so we can go back to before.

But right now there is not a way.

Exhausted enough enough my untamed mind.

I surrender and eventually you too.

We connect to our god, spirit, or guides or just call it the love from inside.

Love holds us tight and we let out a big sigh.

In this space we were meant to be.

To learn is only yet to see.

I’m not sure how we couldn’t..oh how I pray.

Before is no more and that’s more than okay.

So we are paused for another day.

No door to step through just yet.

So not many comments from me, words are hard to find you see.

Surrounding us All with Peace and Love,

Dwight